During the course of my professional speaking tour I have discovered a secret about men and hair; not their hair, but yours, ladies. Dr. John Gray, author of the infamous 1992 book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, writes about a number of differences between men and women. The most noted and relevant one is that men tend to be visual beings while women are more emotional. This philosophy, coupled with the numerous unsolicited admissions from men at my appearances has convinced me there is truth to a woman’s visual appearance being very important to men.
Several times a year, I speak at various venues to expose students to untraditional careers in science or to provide unique knowledge about hair based on my expertise. I usually have a mixed-gender audience and tailor talks to be stimulating to everyone even though my topics tend to focus on issues relevant to women. I am always surprised by the level of interest that men have on the subject of hair and about the services I provide through Mane Insights. Nevertheless, I always answer general questions during Q&A but it is the one-on-one conversations that I have afterwards with men that are of interest and have become to be the norm.
They want to know about women’s hair loss issues, understand the use of weaves, and learn about the effects of hair treatments and hair vitamins because that is what they have heard at home. They describe specific conditions that their women have and express concern about the health of their loved one’s hair. Then they ask if I can help and want to know if I have information for them to share when they return home. Sometimes, concerned men refer their significant others to me so that they can receive hair advice but almost every single time, men say that they are unhappy about their loved one’s hair and thus, they want the women in their lives to have the proper resources to get help.
Now, as a strong and independent woman myself, I understand you are an individual and are free to wear your hair any way you like – no matter what a man’s opinion. However, even though a number of men articulate what they see, their motivation is geared towards wanting us to present ourselves as the queens we are. Men sense the lack of confidence women project when we don’t feel that we are at our best. So, based on my numerous conversations with them about hair, I feel that there is an opportunity for you to dialogue with your man. It could be a difficult conversation because he may reveal that he wants a change. I make reference to Benjamin Franklin’s adage, “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” Share your hair goals with him and involve him in compromise where you both will be happy.
The bottom line ladies, talk with your man about your hair. Doctor’s orders!